I hesitate to say this precisely because it may go along with the whole, “she’s just bitter” narrative and stereotype, but I gotta say it because after a long holiday weekend like this one, some brother or sister of mine may need to hear this.
We are fed several narratives during the course of our lives.
The first is “hard work, a good education and a career is what makes you a valuable person.” Congratulations! You got into this university or that medical school! Your life is together. Live long and prosper.
The second, “okay, you can go to college. That’s fine, but can you get married?” As a single person, you just do not have as much to contribute to the lives of others. Is it because you are too picky, selfish or just undesirable? Clearly something is amiss.
Third, “since you do not have any children, you do not know or understand what it means to sacrifice your time for someone else.” If you are unmarried and childless, you probably do not even know what love means.
I wish we could spend more time diving into the value that resides in each person instead of waiting for them to enter into a life phase that may never happen—waiting for them to reach the fullest potential of what it means to be a complete and full human being.
I believe that as human beings we are made in the image of God. NOW—not when we get that job or degree or husband/wife/relationship or child is when our lives can mean something. Stop waiting to check items off of someone else’s checklist. Be fabulous now.
As a nerd, romantic and future pediatrician, I find so much value in education, love/marriage and children. Please understand. But, I also have the presence of mind to see that these things itself a person does not make.
If you sideline people just because they do not have these things or desire them, for shame! If you have been sidelined, sorry! We are all missing out on something really beautiful.
Life is not just a series of checklists: job, marriage, offspring.
And, if you are going to implement some (especially if you are type-A like myself), for heaven sake, make your own checklist.
P.S. I promise, a medical post is coming soon! Lab meeting, exciting new experiments and the American Society of Hematology Annual Meeting! Get ready. Get pumped.